The Deserted Planet, the Gorgeous Woman, and the Goddamn Torpedo
by ForASecondThereWe'dWon
Summary: Bones and Carol are back on the shuttle after the Star Trek: Into Darkness torpedo scene. Bones might not have disarmed the missile, but he still has legendary hands. Rated M for what he does with them.
1. The Diagnostic

I

"Torpedo secure, doctor," chirped Dr. Marcus, turning and nodding to Dr. McCoy.

"You catch that, captain?"

"Affirmative, Bones." Kirk sighed deeply and shared a look of relief with Sulu. "When can we expect your rendezvous with the _Enterprise_?"

"I believe our good doctor the advanced weapons specialist has a few diagnostics yet to complete. Isn't that right, Dr. Marcus?" Bones turned to see her waving a tricorder over the compartment that had lately held his arm in a death grip.

"It is, Dr. McCoy," she said without looking up. "You see, captain, although I managed to disarm the torpedo, I… well, I hate to admit this, but I'm not exactly sure why what I did worked. It's my hope that in the weapon's non-active state I may gain insight into—"

Kirk cut her off. "Yes, well, Dr. Marcus, I leave the technical intricacies of this particular problem in your capable hands. Anyone with the nerve to tear the guts out of a missile with her bare hands has my full confidence and respect."

She laughed. "Yes, sir."

"Do not hesitate to contact the _Enterprise_ should you require any assistance. Oh, and don't let Bones put his arms into any more small spaces." Sulu's chuckle in the background drifted over the comm line. "Well I won't disturb you any further, doctor. I'll be eager to read your report."

"Thank you, captain."

"Kirk out."

Carol sat back on her haunches, leaning away from the torpedo as she exchanged her tricorder for another instrument. As she turned back to her work, Dr. McCoy caught her eye. His brow had a slight furrow and he looked deeply serious.

"I am sorry doctor. I know I'm working slowly, but I do want to be thorough." Carol tried for polite but firm. Even the admiral's daughter had faced prejudice at the academy when she chose to specialize in the male-dominated discipline of advanced weaponry. Despite her self-subjugation to the captain, she didn't want Dr. McCoy to think her disarming of the torpedo had been pure chance.

Bones raised his eyebrows. "No need to apologize. I was actually just admiring your work. This crew needs a little more paranoia if you ask me." He shifted in his chair, looking annoyed.

"I've noticed that the captain can be a little…"

"Cavalier?" he supplied.

She looked uncomfortable.

"Relax, I'm not gonna rat you out." Bones rolled his eyes. "And I didn't mean to make you self-conscious while you're working. Now that this mess with the missile's sorted out, I don't have anything left to work on while we're off the ship." He threw his hands up. "S'pose I could start a medical analysis of myself to see if I'm exhibiting any early signs of post-traumatic stress."

Carol could tell by his tone that Dr. McCoy had meant this last comment as a joke, but once he finished speaking he appeared oddly thoughtful. She thought it best to divert his attention in order to stall his hypochondria.

"Well, what would you normally do in this situation?" she asked as she focused back on the torpedo.

"Typically when a patient comes to me demonstrating symptoms of acute stress—"

"No, doctor, that isn't the situation I mean."

"Call me Leonard, and what is the situation you mean then, Dr. Marcus?"

She flicked her eyes over to him. "It's Carol. I mean when you're stuck on a deserted planet with a gorgeous woman. Though, more accurately, inside of a shuttle on a deserted planet with a gorgeous woman." She turned her face fully to the missile to hide her smile.

"Uhh." Suddenly Bones couldn't find a comfortable position in the chair and shifted around. _Whoever designed the damn chairs in these things obviously never heard of ergonomics_. "I—I'm not sure—What do you…?"

"Open comm lines, Leonard." Carol glanced back over her shoulder but Bones was staring intently at his feet. She turned back to the weapon. "We had them on from the moment we landed the shuttle on the surface."

Bones opened his mouth to speak, but Carol ploughed ahead. "And please, don't pretend that was the most embarrassing statement you've made since we've been here. I was not so focused on the torpedo that I managed to miss your obvious euphemisms." She completed her scan and replaced the instrument, turning to face her companion.

 _Don't be a damn child. Look her in the eye, man._ Bones glanced up at her and saw she was smiling. "You see, doctor—"

"Carol." She grinned.

"You see, Carol, I'm not sure what it's like for you science officers, but practicing medicine on a starship can be a bit of a solitary profession, so I tend to talk to myself while researching. Makes things more interesting." He nodded at her, a slight smile on his face. "As a result, I possess the unfortunate habit of occasionally speaking before I think, even outside of the med bay. I can understand if you don't consider this a very good excuse for what you heard, but the main thing I want you to know is that I didn't mean anything by it and I don't want you to feel in any way threatened or…" he waved his hand to prompt himself, "…harassed."

"You didn't mean anything by it?"

"No. With today's little crisis, I put my runaway mouth down to nerves, plain and simple."

"The proximity of the torpedo."

"Exactly." Bones nodded, thankful that she seemed more interested than offended. "Even now the damn thing's making me nervous."

Carol glanced behind her at the torpedo, then whipped her head back around. "I can assure you, Leonard, it's completely inactive. You're welcome to examine my readings if it will be any comfort to you." She rose from her crouch, extending one of the instruments towards him.

Bones looked into her earnest blue eyes as she leaned towards him and felt his heart thump. _Probably giving myself a damn arrhythmia._

Carol dropped her arm. "Are you all right, doctor? You look flushed."

"Fine." Bones pushed himself up out of his chair. "I'd say I just need some fresh air, but who knows what sort of microscopic toxins I've already breathed in since we've been here." He crossed his arms, staring hard out the window at the arid landscape.

"We selected this planet as an ideal location because of, among other things, its atmospheric composition. I'm sure that—"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't be so quick to buy everything those science officers tell you. No offense," he said, turning to face her.

"Why don't you talk to me about something more pleasant then? It will help you pass the time and perhaps take your mind off of your discomfort." Carol raised her eyebrows encouragingly.

"And what makes you think you're qualified to offer me psychological advice?" His anxiety was making him irritable.

"I studied psychology throughout my years at the academy. For some reason, they thought it was a good idea to provide an understanding of the mind in distress to students who would be working in contact with live weaponry." She smiled at him through her sarcasm.

"Point taken." Bones planted one hand on his hip and gestured at the torpedo with the other. "But shouldn't you be concentrating rather than listening to me yap?"

"With all due respect, sir, I wouldn't be in this position if I wasn't able to multitask."

"If you say so." He looked far from convinced. "But if that thing goes off," he jabbed his finger in the direction of the torpedo, "you'll be glad you had a medical doctor with you."

Carol pivoted to face him. "Leonard, if this _thing_ goes off it will blast a crater half a mile deep into the surface of this planet and turn our shuttlecraft into scraps so small you wouldn't taste them in your morning coffee. At that point it really won't make much difference just how legendary your hands are." She raised an eyebrow.

"Well I'm glad you appreciate the amount of danger we're in, but you're scaring the hell out of me, Carol."

She smirked at him and suddenly Bones' nervous energy was propelling him forward. He reached down for her hands and yanked her to her feet, turning her away from the missile and pressing her back into the bulkhead. He looked her in the eye for a split second then felt her silky-soft hair brush his face as he kissed her.

Carol was shocked but thrilled by this development. Bones wouldn't have been her last choice for a deserted planet companion either, but at least she had the professionalism not to announce this to the bridge. She hated to stop him, but didn't want him to be embarrassed about this episode later.

"Leonard," she said, pulling out of the kiss. "I'm afraid you're acting out of—"

He looked her square in the eye. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

His lips had just touched hers when, summoning all her mental fortitude, she pulled back again. "You know, for all that bravado, I can't help but wonder at your reasoning."

Bones took a deep breath and shook his head. "Honey, when I referred to you as a gorgeous woman, that was me calling it as I saw it. I've been attracted to you physically since you signed on with Jim en route to the _Enterprise_ , but that verbal dressing down you gave me a minute ago showed me you might be the only one on this damn ship that actually thinks the same way I do. Now unless you have an objection to my actions, which so far you haven't seemed to, please let me get back to them and quit interrupting." Bones raised an eyebrow, trying to assess how she was taking his rambling. She looked surprised and defiant. "That's an order," he added.

Carol shook her blonde hair back from her face with dignity. "I'm not entirely sure you outrank me, Leonard."

He dropped his chin, fixing her with a firm stare. "Then listen to me as your attending physician because you're about to get a thorough examination."

Carol felt a deep blush flood her face and her delicate lower muscles give a firm squeeze. "Then the 'legendary hands' remark wasn't an exaggeration?" She struggled to look composed and he smirked.

"Darlin', these hands could stitch a steady line on a bleeding bandit while he's robbing a moving train. And you're not going to find somebody with a better knowledge of human anatomy in this galaxy or the next one."

He leaned in to her again but she spoke up. "Even with the torpedo just over there?" She jerked her head to the side.

"Carpe diem." He brought his mouth down on hers so insistently Carol moaned.


	2. The Divestiture

II

Once Carol had stopped asking questions, Bones' energy had turned into a runaway train. They quickly moved from the wall to the cot, with which the shuttle was equipped in the event of a medical emergency or an away mission that ran longer than anticipated. Bones backed her onto the bed, kissing her firmly. As she reclined, Carol slipped one hand under his collar, reaching around to caress the back of his neck while using the other hand to unzip his suit from throat to hips.

Fully on board with her actions, Bones paused to kneel on the bed and yank the suit back from his shoulders and start inching it down his arms. "And they claim this suit is an improvement on the last ones they gave us," he groused.

"Better in some ways than others, I suppose." Carol frowned and reached up to assist him in tugging his sleeves down.

"Hang on, I think I have something in my kit…" Bones stood and opened a nearby compartment containing medical tools and supplies. He returned to the bed with a scalpel.

Carol's eyes widened in alarm. "Are you entirely sure that's wise…?" Before she could protest any further, Bones was carving a notch into the material bunched at his elbows.

"Legendary hands, remember? Though this thing sure is tougher to cut through than skin. At least the skin of most species I've worked on." In a moment he had an identical cut in the other sleeve. "Might need your help with this." He thrust one arm towards her.

"I really don't think these suits are vulnerable to tearing…" She put her hand on his arm, inspecting the cut he'd made.

"Carol, honey, one way or another I'm getting out of this thing. It's tight and I'm pretty damn motivated." He nodded downwards, drawing her eye to the swell in the crotch of his suit.

"Right." She swallowed. "Well, I suppose this qualifies as a medical emergency then." She looked up at him eagerly and Bones nodded. Carol gripped the thick, slippery material of the sleeve and pulled her hands in opposite directions as hard as she could, heartened by the thick sound of the fabric ripping.

She appeared baffled. "I'm certain these aren't meant to do that."

"No one will express more distrust over the ramifications this has for the safety of our crew as I will. Later."

Carol's eyes crawled up from Bones' hips where the top half of his suit hung down to his chest and broad shoulders, finally meeting his intense blue-eyed stare.

"Agreed."

"Super. Now we just have to get yours off."

This was accomplished with additional tugging and employment of the scalpel. However, the process was slowed down less by the skin-tight fabric than by the way Bones stared reverently at Carol's body as he peeled the front of her suit down over her breasts, along the curve of her waist and over her hips. Bones slipped his hands under the material, resting his palms on her ass as he dragged the suit the rest of the way off her body.

"I wonder why the bottom half of it's so much easier to get out of," Carol mused.

"They probably figure once you've used up all your energy on the top you've just about lost your will to live." Bones raised an eyebrow.

"Then please lie down and recover your strength."

Bones smirked at Carol as he leaned over her body then dropped to her side on the cot. Carol pushed his shoulders back gently then swung her leg over his hips, straddling him. Again, she took in the sight of his erection rounding out the fabric against his hips. "This will only take a second, doctor."

As he was about to respond, Carol grasped the fabric at his hips and jerked. In an instant, his suit, as well as the underwear beneath it, were off and smacking the metal floor of the shuttle.

"Come on now," Bones pretended to complain, "I managed to leave yours on." He ran a hand up Carol's thigh, hooking his fingers under the shiny black fabric at her hip.

"Guess my hands just aren't quite as careful as yours," she said, resting them against his chest and circling a nipple with some pressure.

"Don't tell me that! You might have more torpedoes to disarm!"

"Do you realize how that sounds in this context, Leonard?" She tilted her hips forward until they pressed against his erection.

He took a sharp breath through his nose. "Yep, and I'm just fine with it." He pulled her down onto him then rolled so she was pinned.


	3. The Demonstration

III

Bones was kissing Carol passionately as he pressed her down into the cot. He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking in a way that made Carol glad her suit would cover her throat when she put it back on. As he worked his way down her neck, Bones put a hand on her shoulder, slipping the strap from it to loop loosely around her upper arm, then doing the same with the other side. He lifted himself in a push up position, jerking his head sharply to urge Carol up as well. She propped herself up on her elbows before reaching behind to unfasten her bra. She let it drop down her arms, then flung it off the cot.

Bones spent a few hot seconds taking in the size and shape of her breasts, then dove for her mouth again, pressing their chests together as he forced her back down. When he rocked his erection against her, Carol's hands leapt to her hips, sliding her underwear down as far as she could, then fluttering her legs to get it off. When she stilled, Bones aligned their bodies again, letting the weight of his dick drop against her wetness. He looked down to where their hips touched, then back up into Carol's eyes with a steady hazel stare.

"Yes, well, go ahead then," she rushed out, focused firmly on the feeling of her pulse pounding between her legs.

Bones let out a low chuckle. "Far be it from me to make a woman wait." He lined himself up and pushed steadily into her slicked channel. The sensation nearly overwhelmed him and he paused for a second to close his eyes and shake his head to get hold of himself.

Impatiently, Carol wrapped her legs around his hips and yanked him in further, gasping as he rammed straight into her g-spot. Bones grunted then took over with vigour, wrapping his fingers roughly around her hips and drilling into her. Carol took hold of his shoulders and felt her blonde hair stick to the back of her neck as her body heated up under his touch. It was neither elegant nor romantic, but when Bones' hips flicked forward like the twanged band of a slingshot, Carol moaned and ground against him every time.

When she was panting and shoving her body frantically against his ( _This woman is going to make me lose my damn mind_ , he thought), Bones broke his rhythm and look at her sharply. "You ready?"

Carol sighed deeply in frustration. "For what? The orgasm I likely would have had if you hadn't stopped moving?" She crossed her arms, drawing Bones' eyes down to her chest and plastering an eager grin on his face.

Bones tipped his chin toward his neck in a gesture suggesting he was a step ahead of her. He smirked then leaned down so his mouth was brushing her ear. She trembled. "Darlin', you know what for."

He brought his mouth back to hers while at the same time resuming his steady strokes into her. When his hand left the nipple with which it had been toying, Carol clued in and felt her heart drumming in her chest.

Bones' hand smoothed down her body to rest at her hip. She tilted her hips encouragingly and he slid his fingers over to her clit. It had already been wetted by the arousal she was producing and as he pressed his fingers to it and dragged it in a couple of tight, fast circles, Carol cried out.

Bones looked at her, swelling with pride in more ways than one. "A few more sounds like that and you might wake up our pal over there."

Carol turned her head in the direction of the torpedo and the frozen man encased inside it. She parted her lips to smile, but it turned into a pant as Bones spread his fingers, caught her clit between them and squeezed upwards. As her breath puffed out, he gave her a second to relax, then began firmly dragging her wetness up over her clit as he continued to thrust into her. Carol reached for his arms to brace herself, her nails scoring his biceps.

As Bones felt his strokes begin to get sloppy, Carol looked him dead in the eye, raised her chin and demanded, "Harder."

Lifting himself on one elbow, Bones threw his hips against hers, making her let out a scream. With the extra space opened between them, he angled his body so that he pulled against her clit right as he reached the greatest depth into her channel. Carol's legs were shaking so hard she couldn't keep them hooked around him. She dropped her legs, keeping her knees bent and holding him snugly as he moved back and forth between them.

Feeling her tremors, Bones moved his fingers back to rub her swollen clit, once again manipulating it in quick, rough circles. Carol's head slammed back into the pillow, her back arching, forcing her breasts against Bones' sweaty chest as she climaxed hard. Bones wrapped an arm under her, holding her around the waist and emptied himself into her with a groan.


	4. The Debriefing

IV

"So apart from the human popsicle, there was nothing too out of the ordinary. Is that correct, Dr. Marcus?" Kirk enquired, as they watched a few members of Engineering very cautiously unload the torpedo from the shuttle.

"That's right, captain. The weaponry is unquestionably more advanced than what the _Enterprise_ is currently equipped with, but once the cryotube is removed, I don't expect to find any more surprises." Carol gave Kirk a small smile.

"Happy to hear it, lieutenant." Kirk nodded to her. He started to walk away, but turned back sharply. "Speaking of surprises, what happened to your arms?"

Bones and Carol both looked down at their torn sleeves.

"Well, Jim," Bones began irritably, "if you recall, I had the compartment door of a torpedo slam shut on mine."

"On _one_ of your arms." Kirk looked at him doubtfully. "And you?" He turned to Carol.

Her eyes widened slightly but she quickly replied, "The result of disarming the missile, I'm afraid. The component I removed was obviously central to the weapon's functioning and therefore the junction of dozens of sharp wires."

Kirk frowned, but seemed ready to let it go. "One more thing."

"Captain?" Carol asked, trying to look neutral.

"Why are you both so," he waved his hand in front of his face, "red?"

"Panic attack," they answered together.

Kirk's eyebrows shot up. "Panic attack? Who had a panic attack?"

"Dr. McCoy did, sir," Carol jumped in, to Bones' annoyance. "I expect my colouring mirrors his as it was quite an exertion to settle him into a state of calm sufficient to travel back to the _Enterprise_."

Kirk laughed out loud. "Well now the story makes perfect sense." He clapped Bones on the shoulder. "You're never gonna live this one down, buddy." Kirk strolled off towards the turbolift, still chuckling.

"I can't believe you told him I had a panic attack!" Bones whispered ferociously at Carol.

Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me, but you were about to tell him the same thing about me."

They stared each other down for a moment. "You may not like it, Dr. McCoy, but I gave the captain the answer I thought he would believe."

"The only thing I've gained here is having my name struck from the list of crew members deemed medically fit enough to be sent on away missions."

"So then you should be thanking me since I've heard you've never been particularly keen on them."

"Boy, you've got some nerve. Don't come crying to me the next time you need help doing your job."

"As I recall, Leonard, as legendary as your hands might be, it was me who disarmed _your_ torpedo." Carol's eyebrow raised and the corner of her mouth quirked up before she turned and strode away from him.

 _I could kill her!_ he thought. Then, _I think I'm in love with her_. He sighed and headed off in the direction of med bay.

* * *

 **Update, June 18th:**

I had given Bones the wrong colour eyes. My mistake! Both instances of the error have been corrected. I appreciate the attention to detail of the reader who pointed this out!

XO ForASecondThereWe'dWon


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